I remember the scriptures telling me that this okay, and God has already solved for this. The scriptures say, “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Praise God that I can’t think of lofty words. Praise God I don’t know where to start this morning. Praise God that in the moment of feeling lost – I realize I’m right where God wants me to be. I’m in awe of having a God that can look at my soul and know immediately what I need.

My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant.

For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed;

for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name.

And his mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation.

He has shown strength with his arm, he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;

he has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate;

he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent away.

He has helped his servant Israel in remembrance of his mercy, as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his offspring forever.

As I’m studying this passage this week, our church had a few application questions and I wanted to share.  I challenge you to try these questions, they really shed a lot of light on the things I need to entrust to God.

How has God been/is being faithful to me?

• Introduced me to church, then called me to faith
• Gave me a Godly husband, even when I wasn’t always looking for one
• Gave me a church I can call home
• Gave me a family
• Gives me community with other believers
• Gives me hope
• Blesses me with resources I can share/give

What do I desire more than God?

• Comfort:  I’m always trying to structure my life so that I can have the elusive notion of “balance”.
• Accomplishment: I’m always looking to assign value to the things I accomplish.  I struggle with this on a daily basis, always wanting to look back on a day and say I did something.
• To be Liked: I desire that others would like me, respect me, admire me.  If someone doesn’t , I desire more than anything to earn it.

What breeds worry and hope for change? What does Scripture say about these areas?

• Job:  I constantly worry about travel, meetings, and deadlines. I worry about my age, what to wear, getting prepared.  Jesus says “Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on.  For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.  Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them.  Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which  of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?  If then you are not able to do a small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest”
• Serving two masters: The scriptures warn about “where your treasure is, there will be your heart also”.  I pray and hope for change in the areas that I desire more than God.  I pray that I could seek God first, and bank on his promises to give me freedom over anything that tries to enslave me.

What I came to realize is that God’s will isn’t a mystery – it’s spelled out clearly over and over in the Bible.  There are specific instructions like “Feed my Sheep”, where God challenges me to meet material and spiritual needs of others around me.  Then Jesus simply says “Follow me” to his closest disciples – and that challenges me to continue pursuing a personal relationship with Jesus even when I can’t see the full picture of where we are going together.

But surely it has to be more complicated than that?  Surely, I must receive a firm plan from God before I start.  I have to have angels come down and deliver the message, right?

What I am realizing is my constant prayer to God with inactivity following wasn’t his doing but mine.  I desperately asked for his will, without being ready or willing to get my hands dirty or inconveniencing myself with it.  I wanted a life known for God – but I was unwilling to give my time, my talent, my heart.  This deep seeded sin unfortunately was masked in prayer and pleading for his will.

Looking to the Lord’s prayer gives me even more direction.  Jesus prayed  ”For thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven”.  Am I really asking God for his kingdom here on earth?  Or am I asking him for ways to make my earthly life more bearable?  Am I praying for a higher “calling” in life – when he’s already given me all the instructions and examples I need?

God’s patience with me is great.  He always brings me back to a place of better understanding, and immediately begins on something else in me.  I continue to pray that his will be done and I would respond in obedience – regardless of what that does to my life.  I pray that he would take away comfort and ease if he so choose.   Let me stop groveling to understand what perfect action I should choose to show my obedience – but learn to give my entire life.  And when giving my entire life seems way too much to give, let me rest on the truth that “anything is possible with God”.

For those of you reading – I’d love to hear of where you are at with your walk with God.  What is he telling you?  What directions has he already told you through the Scriptures that you aren’t stepping out in faith in?

Thankfully, confession to God isn’t anything like confession as we know it in life.

As my pastor said, confession is a conduit of God’s grace.  In order for us to receive God’s grace, we must confess our need for it.  This action shouldn’t burden us, but free us from the weight of sin and an action that helps us  give over more control to God.  The following is a verse from Psalms that really gives us a picture of the grace that comes, the reason for us to confess.

For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away, through my groaning all day long.

For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.

I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity;  I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.

Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him.

You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.  - Psalm 32:3-7

What a beautiful picture of God.  He forgives.  He delivers. He is our hiding place.

My prayer is that I would embrace confession by banking on who God is.  The sin I carry every day?  Given to him.  The frustration I have for falling short?  Replaced by the overwhelming love from a Savior who can take a sinner like me and never grow tired of  picking me back up.

Praise God for his constant pursuit of me.  Praise him for always looking at who I am going to be, and reminding me that I’m his child.  I’m overwhelmed at the love of God that calls me to confess – not because it’s required – but because it allows the opportunity for me to move forward in God’s grace.

The first chapter is entitled “Costly Grace”.  I just wanted to share an excerpt that got my mind questioning how I often view grace, and how most Christians view grace.

“Cheap grace is the deadly enemy of our Church.  We are fighting today for costly grace.

Cheap grace means grace sold on the market like cheapjacks’ wares.  The sacraments, the forgiveness of sin, and the consolations of religion are thrown away at cut prices. Grace is represented by as the Church’s inexhaustible treasury, from which she showers blessings with generous hands, without asking questions or fixing limits.  Grace without price; grace without cost!  The essence of grace, we suppose, is that the account has been paid in advance; and, because it has been paid, everything can be had for nothing.  Since the cost was infinite, the possibilities of using and spending it are infinite.  What would grace be if it were not cheap?… Cheap grace means the justification of sin without the justification of the sinner.  Grace alone does everything, they say, and so everything can remain as it was before.  ”All for sin could not atone.”  The world goes on in the same old way, and we are still sinners “even in the best life” as Luther said.  Well, then, let the Christian live like the rest of the world, let him model himself on the world’s standards in every sphere of life and not presumptuously aspire to live a different life under grace from his old life under sin…

Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has.  It is the pearl of great price to buy which the merchant will sell all his goods.  It is the kingly rule of  Christ, for whose sake a man will pluck out the eye which causes him to stumble; it is the call of Jesus Christ at which the disciple leaves his nets and follows him.

Costly grace is the gospel which much be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which the man must knock.  Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life.  It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner.  Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son: “Ye were bought at a price,” and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us. “

Our pastor on Sunday mentioned the early disciples in Acts as believers whose belief in Jesus was not determined by circumstance.  To put it simply: Jesus was enough for them in any situation they encountered. As I read Psalm 63 this morning, this becomes my prayer.

I’m overwhelmed by God’s faithfulness and his love.  Because of his steadfast love and constant pursuit of me, I will praise him this morning for who he is.  Often times I spend too much time worrying about how flawed I am, that I forget that he still looks on me with love I can’t even fathom.

Psalm 63:1-4

Oh God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory.  Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.  So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands.

Then I read the familiar passage of the disciples freaking out because the boat they were in was being tossed in the wind. Jesus was sleeping. When they wake him up, he tells the wind to be still, and then asks the disciples: “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?”.

Those words.  Why am I so afraid? I have the God of the universe who has accomplished everything that matters and I’m worried about meeting due dates. I have a savior of my life, who promises an eternity with him – and I’m fearful of what will happen on this earth?

My prayer is my faith would increase. Let me believe Jesus at his word.  Let me lean into him with my fear, and see how he is the only one capable to give me peace.

I realize quickly that I’m pulled constantly by nearly everything around me that it is so easy to lose sight of the overall picture of what I want my life to be.  When I let work pull hardest at my life, I realize that I don’t have the time or the energy for building relationships with people outside of work.  When I let my desire to have comfort dictate my life, I realize that I can waste a lot of time watching Netflix instant watch instead of doing something that is of value and worth.

At church today, we sang “O the Wondrous Cross”.  The following words stuck with me all day:

Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

These words sum up the only true thing that can demand my life.  Jesus.

My prayer this week is that I could begin to know more about the love of Jesus, and the knowledge of this love would begin to demand everything in my life.

And they devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done to  the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common.  And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing to all , as any had need.  And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people.  And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. – Acts 2:42-47

One thing that our church warned us of is to take how these early Christians lived and try to make it our new to-do list of how we should become.  Instead, we are to look at Jesus, determine his desires and pray that our desires would be changed by him so that we could experience how we are intended to live.

I took a minute to look at John 17 – also known as the high priestly prayer of Jesus.  In this prayer, Jesus actually prays specifically for us believers, and we can see his desires for us. We can also understand how more than anything, Jesus wants us to be united with him and others.  The following is a list of the desires Jesus has for us believers.  As you can see, these closely relate to the picture we see in Acts 2 and 4.

• Unity with God and Others: We see throughout the prayer of Jesus in John 17, the desire of Jesus is that we would be united with God.  We also see the beautiful unity displayed in the trinity, as Jesus prays to God, and then asks, “Holy Father, keep them (us believers) name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one.”  He also notes, “I in them, and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me”.  When we look at the picture of believers in Acts 2 and 4, we see the believers are united with God, and as a result had “everything in common”.  They shared assets.  They pooled resources.  They shared food. We also can deduce that if God’s desire is unity with Him, our lives will naturally look like the believers in Acts 2 and 4.

• Reliance on the word:  In John 17:14, Jesus mentions in his prayer that he has given us God’s word, since we are still in the world. We also see in numerous times in Jesus’ life that he relies on the word of God to guide him or help him resist temptation.  As believers, we should understand that reading the Bible isn’t a chore or something to cross off our to-do list, but a way that we can see God’s desires for our lives, and his love and power.

• Praise:  Jesus sets the example of glorifying God.  From the beginning of his prayer, he glorifies God.  Later, he says, “Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.” So Jesus desires us to one day be able to see his full glory, and praise will be the only response.

• Believers to be sent into the world: Jesus prays John 17:18, “As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world”.  He also shows us earlier in verse 15 that us being in the world is intentional, “I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one”.  This means as followers of Christ, it is God’s intention that we seek relationships with unbelievers.  While Jesus clearly needed close Christian community, his whole life was devoted to being sent into the world to spread the gospel to unbelievers.

• Know the Love of God:  It is also Jesus’ desire for us to know the love of God.  Jesus says, “I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them”. How amazing is it that God wants us to know how much he loves us.